Stan Olsen is a stupid twat.

There are two types of people in this world. The first are people that realize Deshaun Foster is a terrible running back that should never see the field. The second are dumbasses that should be sterilized. Stan Olsen, come on down for the kool - aid!

Satisfaction, because when Carolina's rushing attack clicked, it dominated -- and brought results. The Panthers were 6-2 in the eight games in which they topped 100 yards, and they totaled 166 or more in five. They won each of those games.

Frustration, in that the Panthers failed to gain 100 yards on the ground in half of their games. Since an effective running game is a key part of coach John Fox's scheme, Carolina was 1-7 in those punchless games.

Are you fucking kidding me? He got paid to write that? Since when did John Madden start writing for the Charlotte Observer? I mean, I know you guys aim for mediocrity, but Jesus Christ. Hey guys, guess what, whomever scores the most points wins almost 73% of the time! The other 27% are times you're a dumbass, Stan Olsen! Where's my paycheck?

At this point you have to wonder where Olsen is going with this article. If you're like me, you were anticipating the details of his latest acid trip. That would have been more informative than the tripe he was coming up with. His sinister motives soon became clear.

On 121 first-half carries, Foster totaled 468 yards (3.9 average). Williams had 54 carries before the break, and gained 221 yards (4.1). Not a lot to choose from.

The difference becomes dramatic after halftime. Foster got slightly more carries than he did in the first half, with 126. They produced just 408 yards, a 3.2 average.

Williams, on the other hand, saw his rushing attempts dramatically increase, to 90, and he produced 496 yards after the half, a 5.5 average.

dude, this is some through the looking glass shit! So what you've done is statistically proven that Williams gets better in the second half while Foster remains mediocre! Surely you won't use this to springboard into a defense of Deshaun Foster-

First, it was Foster's job to soften up opposing defenses. At 6-feet and 222 pounds, he is bigger than the 5-9, 217-pound Williams, and was called on to do most of that first-half pounding.

So at an extra 5 pounds it was Foster's job to soften up the defense? Either Olsen is an idiot or John Fox is an idiot. I'm inclined to believe it's a combination of the two somehow.

Also remember Williams was the change-of-pace back, a guy who usually entered the game after a heavy dose of Foster. With a different style and better cutback ability, some of Williams' yards likely came when he caught by surprise opponents who were getting used to Foster.

Are you fucking kidding me? Are you really suggesting that when Williams came into the game and didn't suck it caught the defense off guard? Do you really think anyone ignored DeAngelo in practice the week before? Of fucking course not!

When the defenses went to watch film, it was divided into two sections. First, they showed Williams. They all took notes about how to try to stop DeAngelo. This probably took the majority of the time. Towards the end they'd mention the other asshole who liked to fumble, then had punch and pie and hand massages.

That, combined with the possible tiring of Foster late in games, might have led to the dramatic disparity in their second-half rushing averages.

Oh, he gets tired at the end of games? Boo fucking hoo, this isn't figure skating. It's not like he was out there long enough to get tired. What do you think the defense thinks of Foster getting tired when they're out there 40 minutes a game because Deshaun playing hop scotch behind the line of scrimmage never picks up a first down?

The coup de grace is this ridiculous chart that he put at the bottom.

What the fuck does this even mean? are you suggesting there are six halves in football, Stan? What kind of mutant form of Canadian football have you been watching?

I hate the Charlotte Observer.