Jerry Richardson: tucking in John Fox since 2003

Jerry Richardson came out of his cave today to address the media. I'm assuming it looked something like this.

Anyway this story is set to be posted by the observer in about three hours but I'm beating them to the punch because even a free lance blogger is worth more than the Charlotte fucking Observer.

“I asked one group, “Have y’all seen Phantom of the Opera? You remember the guy with the white face?” I was going all around under the ground. And then he sings this beautiful song; I sort of feel like him but I can’t sing. I visited with the people, probably ten different groups.

“And then John and Marty, they’re feeling awful. So I didn’t want to tell them that I wanted to visit with them because I didn’t want to make that more stressful on them.

Um, I'm not kidding. This is in there for some reason. We all know Panthers games are torture for the actual fans that show up. Two decade old rock and cheerleaders that belong at a service academy game don't really whip us up into a frenzy, but what the fuck are you babbling about Jerry?

"Hi, welcome to Bank of America stadium, please let me know if we get too loud. Also in the third quarter we'll be giving out tickets to Blithe Spirit!"

We started about quarter ‘til 2, and I began (by reminding them) the sky is not falling. That there was no anger from me, and I would listen to whatever they had to say. And that at 6 o’clock we’d stop, and we’d have dinner, the three of us. And after dinner, we would do something fun.

Taken out of context that sounds really gay.

After 6 we weren’t going to talk about football anymore.

I told them we were going to bed at 9:30, which we did. There was no TV, and I didn’t know if I could trust those two guys (smiling). Up at our lake when it gets dark, it’s dark—it’s up at Lake James. And at 9:45, I wondered if I needed to do a bed check (laughs). I got up; there wasn’t a light on; I could barely see. And I looked down the hall and I stumbled down to their rooms to make sure that they were in their beds. They were—they passed the bed check.

So in the midst of the most important conversation in the history of the franchise, one that will determine whether John Fox and Marty Hurney stay on, Richardson gives them a bed time? Are you fucking serious? A FUCKING BED TIME? Did you give them those little pajamas with padded feet too? Maybe a blankie? Everyone in the front office of this team needs to die. If I'm working for a guy who tells me to go to bed at 930 and checks on me (because I sure as hell couldn't get to sleep) I'm not working for that guy in the morning.

Q: ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT THE IMPRESSION OF THIS BEING A “WIN OR ELSE” SEASON FOR FOX AND HURNEY, HOW THAT WILL IMPACT THE PLAYERS AND STAFF?

A: "I can see how some could perceive it that way. But the important thing is, I don’t perceive it that way. I was in New York one time, having lunch with (then Commissioner) Pete Rozelle. There were some business people (nearby) having a discussion about the Giants and the Jets, and they were experts; in their minds, they were experts. They had different points of view; that’s our business; the more different points of view, the better for us. I would say, that’s just part of the NFL and sports in general. People have different points of view."

Don't worry John. Jerry doesn't expect success. Meander to 7-9 again and you should be alright.

Q: CAN YOU ELABORATE ON WHAT YOU THREE DECIDED YOU WANT MOVING FORWARD?

A: “We want to be a physical team, and we want to be able to run the ball; stop the run. And if you do those two things, you’re likely going to have opportunities to exploit the passing game and specifically, Steve (Smith). And we always want to be very good on special teams. That’s different than saying we want to be a West Coast-type pass offense.

You want to run the ball and stop the run? Know what you need to do that? Offensive and Defensive linemen. Guess what positions on the team are the weakest. Hmm, seems to me that the guys you have in place aren't doing their job.

“I would like for the Carolina Panthers and the way we operate our team to simulate the Pittsburgh Steelers. And that applies even to how we operate our stadium. We don’t have a lot of fancy stuff going on."

They also put a winning product on the field. People are a lot more willing to except Sparta when they actually have something to cheer for.

We try to have the best playing surface we can have; we’re very particular about that. We have the NFL logo on our 50-yardline because we want to reemphasize to our fans this is NFL football; it’s not something else. It’s the most powerful brand in sports.

Well guys forget about football we've got great fucking grass and the NFL shield at midfield. Alright now let's go have some cucumber cakes and drink tea and make sure you're in bed for your naps at 1 PM sharp!

“We don’t play wild music at games. We try to do things in a dignified way. We try to make the outside of the stadium as pristine as it can be, the restrooms as clean as they can be. We want a fan-family environment; there was a time when we used to get a lot of flack about taking shirts off; we don’t hear that anymore. So we talked about those sorts of things, and I think they’re clear and I’m clear.”

Jerry Richardson is so fucking out of touch with this team and the fanbase it's disgusting. What is dignified about the Carolina Panthers the last two seasons? Falling apart in the second half? David Carr? And a fan-family environment? What the fuck does that mean? Oh, it means a place a dad can bring his two daughters and not have them hear the word Fuck before he leaves at halftime and a bunch of fucking ass hole Dallas fans just congeal from the ground and take the seats. It's a fucking football game, not Wimbledon.

There are going to be changes; I don’t know if you can put them in the category of surprises; I couldn’t qualify that. … John and Marty have prepared; they’ve got a lot to do now. It’s not going to be a ho-hum off-season, it looks like."

This means absolutely nothing because they're all assholes and this team is falling apart and I hate to watch it. Jerry has shown that he doesn't actually have a commitment to winning by his actions. 8-8 next year and no one let me think otherwise.