*my dad's
For those of you that aren't PSL owners (smart move on your part) here are some of the lowlights from what you won't miss.
Yeah, the thing I love about PSLs is that I am guaranteed access to the playoffs every year! How did they read my mind like that? There's nothing like knowing after shelling out six thousand bucks I am promised a spot in the playoffs and a home game. Wow.
I guess they mean guaranteed to be paying for them every year because that's about the only consistent thing. Maybe if PSLs insured you, like, Patriots playoff tickets this would be valid.
I guess they mean guaranteed to be paying for them every year because that's about the only consistent thing. Maybe if PSLs insured you, like, Patriots playoff tickets this would be valid.
Oh look, Jerry is worried about his image.
Well, one thing you'll never be able to say about the Panthers is that their players misbehave off the field or that the stadium is too rowdy.
another thing you'll never be able to say is that the team has too much intensity and that BoA Stadium is a scary place for opposing teams to play. I swear to God, I've seen practice fields rowdier than Bank of America. When the Eagles are in training camp and a receiver drops a pass, they fucking have to break out riot police. Here we're lucky if anyone sitting between the twenties even notices there's a game going on.
Well, one thing you'll never be able to say about the Panthers is that their players misbehave off the field or that the stadium is too rowdy.
another thing you'll never be able to say is that the team has too much intensity and that BoA Stadium is a scary place for opposing teams to play. I swear to God, I've seen practice fields rowdier than Bank of America. When the Eagles are in training camp and a receiver drops a pass, they fucking have to break out riot police. Here we're lucky if anyone sitting between the twenties even notices there's a game going on.
What the fuck is positive attitude of fans? What the hell is there to be positive about!?
"Yes, David Carr didn't throw a pick! Bro Hugs for everyone!"
"Yes, David Carr didn't throw a pick! Bro Hugs for everyone!"
There are two that really stick out here.
First, season tickets are a great resource for entertaining clients, especially if they're cheering for another team! Nothing seals a deal like bringing them in to an opposing stadium and watching them upset the home team. You can't put a price tag on that kind of value.
Speaking of value, that Panthers are a terrible value. Yes, I know, you don't buy tickets to see wins; you buy them to see a team. Whether or not they win or lose isn't included in the price tag (as evidenced by steadily climbing ticket prices). But owning Panthers PSLs is like buying a cake that turns out to be made of, like, asian people. I mean yeah it's a cake and all but it's probably not going to taste very good and not really resemble what you'd think a cake would look like.
First, season tickets are a great resource for entertaining clients, especially if they're cheering for another team! Nothing seals a deal like bringing them in to an opposing stadium and watching them upset the home team. You can't put a price tag on that kind of value.
Speaking of value, that Panthers are a terrible value. Yes, I know, you don't buy tickets to see wins; you buy them to see a team. Whether or not they win or lose isn't included in the price tag (as evidenced by steadily climbing ticket prices). But owning Panthers PSLs is like buying a cake that turns out to be made of, like, asian people. I mean yeah it's a cake and all but it's probably not going to taste very good and not really resemble what you'd think a cake would look like.
I'm not sure Jerry Richardson could be more worried about positive image if he tried.
Who the fuck gives a shit about performance enhancing drugs? Jake Delhomme is coming off a surgery that generally adds speed to a pitch in baseball; should that be banned? Would the fans care if the team was still performing? Does anyone remember Julius Peppers got busted for testing positive? Or Shawn Merriman? Or Rodney Harrison?
And my god, who the fuck goes to football games if they are concerned about rowdy language? This isn't fucking tennis. Nelson, a fat guy who sits in my section and regularly smuggles in ziploc bags full of pulled pork and buns to make sandwiches, told me my first dirty joke when I was ten in Clemson.
"Hey PotatoJuiceYeah, what do Michael Jackson and JC Penny's have in common? They both have little boy's pants half off."
I looked to my dad to see if it was alright I just heard this and he just laughed. There is a time and a place to shelter your child from the harsh realities of the world. A football game is not one of them. And besides, a couple of times watching the Panthers live will strip away any hopes and dreams a budding young misanthrope might have.
And why the fuck are they worried about making it family friendly anyway? It's not as if children can pay for their 12 dollar beers.
Who the fuck gives a shit about performance enhancing drugs? Jake Delhomme is coming off a surgery that generally adds speed to a pitch in baseball; should that be banned? Would the fans care if the team was still performing? Does anyone remember Julius Peppers got busted for testing positive? Or Shawn Merriman? Or Rodney Harrison?
And my god, who the fuck goes to football games if they are concerned about rowdy language? This isn't fucking tennis. Nelson, a fat guy who sits in my section and regularly smuggles in ziploc bags full of pulled pork and buns to make sandwiches, told me my first dirty joke when I was ten in Clemson.
"Hey PotatoJuiceYeah, what do Michael Jackson and JC Penny's have in common? They both have little boy's pants half off."
I looked to my dad to see if it was alright I just heard this and he just laughed. There is a time and a place to shelter your child from the harsh realities of the world. A football game is not one of them. And besides, a couple of times watching the Panthers live will strip away any hopes and dreams a budding young misanthrope might have.
And why the fuck are they worried about making it family friendly anyway? It's not as if children can pay for their 12 dollar beers.
Of course I would recommend season tickets now. You should always buy low. Right now the Panthers are a fucking Eastern European country, the Wall just fell, and you're the rich oil baron buying up shit left and right. Soon, you too will own an EPL soccer team.
I just wanted everyone to know that I suffer more than you for this
I think this is one thing we can all agree on. No more Jazzercise. No more 8 year old girls dancing. They are allowed to do three things:
Even better, get like one hundred frisbee dogs and one hundred automated frisbee launchers and just let that shit fly.
- Mascot Bowl
- Frisbee Dogs
- Pop Warner game
Even better, get like one hundred frisbee dogs and one hundred automated frisbee launchers and just let that shit fly.
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