Mmmm, what happened? Oh god, my head hurts. Jesus Christ. Hold on a second.
Wait, coffee isn't going to fix this. Hold on.
Alright, that did the trick. It's all starting to come back to me; the alcohol, the strippers, the blow. I was celebrating.......something. What was it? What was that great thing again? Hmmmm, maybe if I check the internet I'll find an answer!
If you want a serious read on this, head on over to Cat Scratch Reader. Being serious isn't what I'm all about. He's got fancy things like statistics, charts, and class. That's really not my style.
What is my style is talking about how fucking incredible it is that we're finally free of this fucking disease on the team. It's not Deshaun Foster's fault. He's probably a nice guy. John Fox just couldn't bench him. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience when I say that sometimes the only way to stop cheating on your girlfriend is to murder the stripper you keep seeing and in this case Deshaun Foster is Lola. Fox just couldn't leave him alone.
Where the Panthers go from here is fucking obvious: the Super Bowl. DeAngelo Williams is going to break every record in the world next year. All those years I have on Madden where I set it to Rookie with 12 minute quarters and run DeAngelo every time? Yeah, it's going to be like that. One time I broke ten thousand yards and 120 touchdowns in a season doing that. That'll be DWizzle at the halfway point.
I made a video for Deshaun that will be posted later tonight. In the meantime, time to start drinking again!
The Panthers released RB DeShaun Foster Thursday, apparently unable to find anyone willing to give up anything for him.
They cleared a $4.75 million chunk of salary cap space with the move, room they needed after sinking $7.455 million in RT Jordan Gross' franchise tag.
As much as they liked Foster, it was easy to see based on the structure of this contract this was coming.
Oh my fucking god.
What is my style is talking about how fucking incredible it is that we're finally free of this fucking disease on the team. It's not Deshaun Foster's fault. He's probably a nice guy. John Fox just couldn't bench him. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience when I say that sometimes the only way to stop cheating on your girlfriend is to murder the stripper you keep seeing and in this case Deshaun Foster is Lola. Fox just couldn't leave him alone.
Where the Panthers go from here is fucking obvious: the Super Bowl. DeAngelo Williams is going to break every record in the world next year. All those years I have on Madden where I set it to Rookie with 12 minute quarters and run DeAngelo every time? Yeah, it's going to be like that. One time I broke ten thousand yards and 120 touchdowns in a season doing that. That'll be DWizzle at the halfway point.
I made a video for Deshaun that will be posted later tonight. In the meantime, time to start drinking again!
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