This is Rhys Lloyd. As you can see, Rhys Lloyd isn't the most athletic tool in the shed. He has a less developed chest than Keira Knightly, his jersey doesn't even fit, and his gut hangs over his belt. Add on to that he looks like someone who'd be starting racist chants at a Manchester United game. He's never fully shaved, a careless cigarette flick could set his hair on fire, and if you listen carefully after kickoffs, you can hear him mutter under his breath "fookin cunts" while he takes a swig from a carefully concealed flask.
All that said, he's a fucking god amongst men for the five or six times he gets to go out there during a game and flex the majesty of that leg of his. He's 11th in total kickoffs, 7 behind the league leader, but is tied for first with Matt Prater with 11 touch backs. Keep in mind that Prater is a Bronco, which means he gets to kick in the fucking stratosphere. I could trip and tumble into the ball and send it 40 yards at Mile High. Not only that, he jumps around like Eurotrash whenever he gets a touchback and they play that Olay, olay olay olay song.
And as a world traveller, yes, Soccer generally is that gay.
I tried to find a video of him and this came up, so I'm just assuming this is him.
Some other fun facts you may not have known about Rhys Lloyd.
- Nigel "The Leg" Gruff from The Replacements was loosely based on Lloyd's life. They even tracked down an actor named Rhys to play him.
- His team mates called him "Winston Churchill" who was pretty cool and defeated the Nazis
- He went to Minnesota.
- Wait never mind there's nothing fun about Minnesota.
- According to this article, he's only kicking at like 80 percent. Will we ever get to see him go all out? Maybe, in the future, when the planet needs him.....
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